Today, I realized that my children are not my Sistine Chapel.
They are not going to become great masterpieces for which I will be honored and memorialized forever.
No matter what I do, my children are not going to grow up without making mistakes. Nor would I want them to.
And there’s no way they will pass into adulthood without making me angry. Very, very angry. On a regular basis.
I wish I had all the answers to help my children grow up into perfect, enlightened beings.
But even if I were a perfectly enlightened being (which I’m not), it would be arrogance to think I could lead my children into enlightenment the way a sculptor molds clay.
I see now that enlightenment is a journey we must travel on our own two feet. Although I can describe the signposts and landmarks I’ve passed on my own journey, ultimately my children are destined to use the free will God gave them to choose their own path.
And yet, there is a strong feeling of responsibility. I know I am only a temporary caretaker for my children, but while they are in my care, their education and training are my responsibility. This is not a task I take lightly.
As I write this, the word that comes to me loud and clear is: “TRUST”
I know God has a plan for me. I trust that God has my best interest at heart, so even if things happen to me which are contrary to my desire, I trust that eventually I will see the wisdom of the experience relative to my whole life. And if that is true, then God also has a plan for my children. And if God has a plan for my children, then I should just as easily trust that God has their best interests at heart, and therefore, they are in good hands.
In parenting, as in all other areas of my life, all I need to do is the best that I can do, and then have the courage to leave the rest in God’s capable hands.
Wow, is that hard to do! Why? I guess because it means I have to relinquish control over my children’s fate. Or do I? I don’t really have control; I never did. Isn’t that what I’ve been complaining about this whole time? All I’m really doing is relinquishing the delusion of ever having been in control in the first place.
Somehow, that sounds much easier to do. At least I hope so.
What do you think?
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3 comments
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February 3, 2009 at 3:31 pm
QueenHoneyB
I was just browsing “Baha’i children” blogs on wordpress and came across yours. Thanks for the thought provoking post
February 3, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Grace
Thank you, that’s very kind of you!
I love writing, it helps me sort things out. Words are tricky though, they can be a box that confines you, or a ladder that can raise you up to unfathomable heights. The hard part is knowing the difference!
I hope you come back again.
February 5, 2009 at 6:22 am
An ironic coda to enlightened children « Living the struggles of thoughtful, deliberate parenting
[...] skills, Parenting, parenting advice, parenting skills, parenting styles, parenting tips My first post was about relinquishing control over my children’s fates, and handing them over to [...]